p>Once again, the Communists refuses to cooperate. First, Beijing’s air is so polluted that the world record holder in the marathon has refused to run in the Olympics. Now, an even more egregious injustice is being committed.
Now I know that the communists aren’t as materialistic as we capitalists. They don’t care about things like Gucci handbags or Cartier watches. I was under the impression that they did enjoy the ability to take a seat when they go number 2, but now I know that is just another of our capitalist excesses.

Here is a look at a squat toilet, because I had no clue what one was, until I found this very informative picture:

Now, for all your communists out there, this is how the other half poops:

Here is deputy director of venue management for the Olympics, Yao Hui’s take on the situation:
“Most of the Chinese people are used to the squat toilet, but nowadays more and more people demand sit-down toilets,” Yao said. “However, it will take some time for this transition.”
The Chinese people are also used to making the equivalent of 1,000 US dollars per year (on average) in urban areas. ($358 in rural areas) I don’t think that the Chinese are willing to spend 30 percent of their annual income on a sit down toilet. I also like how Yao throws in a little big, “nowadays more and more people demand sit-down toilet.” By nowadays, do you mean since the advent of indoor plumbing? Get it together China. These are the people that America fears? They don’t even sit down when they poo. I have seen that Charmin commercial with the bears, and even they sit down when the poop, and they use toilet paper, not some inhumane bucket with a hose coming out of it. I officially fear bears more than the Chinese, and most bears aren’t even communists. Take that Mao.

The Angry T

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These are the risks that you run when you try to organize the Olympic Games in a communist regime. Communists are known for three things: Hippy Sentiment that dictates everyone is equal, cigars, and pollution.

When the world record holder decides to wait until 2012 to run his best event, there must be a problem. In fact, as the article states, many British atheltes may wear masks during competition because this Communist smog permeates the streets of Beijing, waiting to get into your lungs and influence you to share wealth equally. What kind of shop are you running over there Mao Zedong? Mix in a park every few miles, I know it worked for me in SimCity. This is like the Spurs refusing to go to Cleveland last year because Quicken Loans arena didn’t have air conditioning and several of their players are prone to heavy sweating, BO, and concerns about embarrasing themselves with said BO. It’ not like you get a ton of chances to win an Olympic gold medal.

There are only three possible reasons why this guy wouldn’t go.

1. He is a pussy

2. He thinks he is good enough to win this year, in four years, or whenever the hell he chooses to compete.

3. The Communist smog in Beijing might actually harm him

I t believe number there are very few pussies who can run 28 miles as fast as he can. Also, runners know that injuries can crop up at any time and that no Olympic appearance is guaranteed. So, I am inclined to believe that this Toxic Communist smog may actually be harmful. Harmful enough to convert the Olympic athletes into disgusting raging communists? I believe so.

You almost pulled a fast one on us Mao, but the every vigilant blog community has struck again and we will make the world (or the 9 people that read this site) aware of your insidious plot.

Where is Joe McCarthy when you need him?

The Angry T

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