Now, I am not nearly enough of a soccer aficionado to claim to know whether Ronaldo, deserved “FIFA Player of the Year” honors.  What I can make a declaration about is whether Ronaldo’s off the field “play” deserved to the recognized in the 2008 calendar year.  For those of you who haven’t yet picked up on this site’s theme, that last sentence means that I am going to judge Ronaldo’s women in 2008 against other contenders for the FIFA player of the year.  Then, and only then, will I make my King Solomon-like decision on whether Ronaldo really deserves his award:

To recap, let’s take a look at Ronaldo’s ladies in 2008:

Italian model and TV presenter, Letizia Filippi:

Before Letizia there was model Nereida Gallardo:

In early 2008, he was linked with TV presenter, Carolina Patrocinio:

and most recently, he was seen with Alyena Haynes, a Ukrainian Model.  Take a look:

As you can see, his 2008 finish was less than stellar.

Let’s check out the competition:

Lionel Messi (Finished 2nd)

Fernando Torres (3rd Place Finisher) –

His Girlfriend Olalla

Kaka (Finished 4th)

His wife Carolina Celico

Xavi Hernandez – No girlfriend that I can find.  Get it together Xavi.

Other Finalists:

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Helena Seger Girlfriend

Okay, FIFA, I’ll give you your just due in saying that you made the correct decision.  I appreciate that Messi is dating a porn star, but that simply doesn’t overcome Ronaldo’s body of work. Congrats you unusually tan Portugese SOB.

The Angry T

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Ronaldo, known for dating lots and lots of hot chicks, see here, is now dating Alyena Haynes, a Ukrainian Model.  Take a look:

(more…)

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If this “Blue Steel” cover shot of Cristiano Ronaldo’s new calendar is any indication, we might be treated to “Magnum,” and “Le Tigre,” or perhaps “Ferrari,” for 12 months, and for only seven Euro.

Sounds like a great year to me.

Ronaldo shouldn’t be alone in this calendar initiative.  There are a several athletes and sports personalities that should take advantage of the booming calendar market.  Let’s take a look at a few:

Men of the Offensive Line – Nothing says sexy like abnormal amounts of belly fat:

Football Coach Beefcakes: With emphasis on the beef…and the cake:

Jenn Sterger & Friends: Boobies + Cowboy Hat = On TV

Athletic and Hideous – If you don’t expect a Sheldon Williams picture immediately you just aren’t paying attention:

Yes, that is Otis Nixon)

Ladies of the Sideline: No Erin’s Allowed - Sideline reporters unite against Erin Andrew’s dominance of the headlines:

Athletes and Their Pets – “Lots of Woofs, Meows, and Fun!!”

Inebriated Athletes – Their drunkenness is directly proportional to how hard I laugh at the picture.  These pictures make me feel that if you replaced the bottle of Belvedere with a plastic jug of Thor’s Hammer Vodka, Stephen Jackson and I live similar lives.

Men of the Links – Their polyester blend shirts and microfiber pants drive the women wild:

Ladies of the Hardwood – Don’t worry, this calendar will only include the hot ones:

Look for all of these calendars this Fall at Barnes & Noble.  You should be able to find most of them near the register in the 87% off bargain bin, except the “Men of the Links” calendar, which should go like hotcakes, which coincidentally is the breakfast, lunch, dinner and mid-day snack for Tim Herron.

The Angry T

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When I want hard hitting, straight forward news, I go to two places, The News of the World, and The Sun.  Based on the fact that both of my favourite Euro papers are reporting that Cristiano Ronaldo is involved with a high priced hooker, the story just has to be true. Don’t worry Cris, it can happen to the best of us, just ask T-Pain.

The News of the World’s sting operation described in the above article revealed that the hooker, who charges around $3,500 a night (2,000 Euro times 1.50 exchange rate) for her services, regularly services Ronaldo. Here are some pictures that pretty much prove everything in the above story to be possibly true: (Either that, or I just wanted to show you pictures of the high priced hooker that Ronaldo may or may not be in love with)

(the one standing up)

Here she is in regular people clothing:

I have to congratulate The News of the World for a pretty impressive expose.  I am even more impressed that their undercover reporter held back and didn’t have sex with either of these ladies.  He would have needed a lot of penicillin to cure his ills after a night with this skanks.  Best of all, he could have claimed a special bond with Ronaldo that few people in the world could claim except all the people that she previously charged $3,500 to pleasure.

I am not saying that this story is necessarily true in connecting Ronaldo with this hooker, but this isn’t the first time Ronaldo’s affinity for hookers has been exposed. You would figure that one of the world’s most recognizable soccer players could get his own chicks.  News like this will put a smile on my face if I happen to go out to a bar and end up walking home alone. Those who know me know this is a rare occurence that only happens everytime I have ever gone out in my life.  Thanks for the pick me up Cristiano.

The Angry T

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Just one day after I proclaimed Cristiano Ronaldo the king of poon, he goes and out in public looking like this:

and like this:

(Disclaimer for new readers: This is one of the few times in the history of this site that I will post multiple images of sun-bathing bronzed men. Please feel free to come back often.)

(Other Disclaimer for new readers: I do tend to make a significant amount of pro wrestling posts, so you can expect photos of bronzed men in speedo quite frequently)

If I had my color wheel handy, I would place that color very close to cedar, or metro, depending on the accent color. Step away from the bronzing lotion and and slowly step back into heterosexuality. Despite being all knowing and omnipotent, the tiny Jesus on Ronaldo’s necklace is getting a third degree sunburn.

The most embarrasing part of the this whole salmon colored experience is that his left foot, from the ankle down, is as party white as your average ginger’s thighs. I apologize to John and Derek for even putting this guy in your league.

The Angry T

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