On this Eid al Fitr eve, The Angry T would like to take a moment to celebrate one of the most remarkable accomplishments by any athlete, in any sport, ever.

On this day eight years ago, Detroit Tigers’ utility man extraordinaire Shane David Halter played all nine positions in a single game.

When compared to the rest of this particular era of Tiger baseball, the 2000 season was really a success. The Phil “Scrap Iron” Garner-led team finished 79-83, Bobby Higginson hit 30 home runs, Dean Palmer hit 29, both men drove in 102 runs, CJ Nitkowski had the second-best season of his career, posting a 5.25 ERA, and Deivi Cruz hit 46 doubles (seriously). But all the other highlights pale in comparison to Halter’s inspirational display of mind-blowing athleticism.

Halter played a different position each inning of the game (9 positions, 9 innings, why not?), including one perfect inning on the mound. This staggering performance turned a journeyman best known for his uncanny ability to lay down a sacrifice bunt (the guy was the Vijay Singh of bunting practice) into a national icon the likes of which hasn’t been seen since, and possibly the greatest athlete of all time.

Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals, but I don’t recall seeing him try the long jump or pole vault. Michael Jordan wouldn’t have lasted 10 seconds on the low block against Tim McCormick. That Greek messenger that ran the first ever marathon in the Persian/Greek war died immediately after his 26.2 mile message run. As far as I can tell, Shane Halter is still alive, and so today we all should take a moment to bask fondly in the still radiating glow of his fantastic accomplishment…and in knuckleballer Steve Sparks’ stat line from that year: 7-5, 4.07 ERA, 1 CG, 1 SHO, 1 SV, 1.317 WHIP, 115 ERA+.

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