Add this to the donkey show I saw this weekend and I can honestly say I have seen everything.  I know the intentions behind this tournament are pure, but how about, and this is purely hy-po-the-tical, instead of paying for these homeless people to go to South Africa, why don’t we pay for this people to get off of drugs? No? Soccer instead? Okay fine.

If we can’t get them clean, the least we can do for the homeless is to put them in gladiatorial competition.  Here are the some other potential competitions in which we can involve the presumably drug riddled homeless:

5. 100 Meter Shopping Cart Dash - Some of these guys are scary fast (see below):

4. Bag-O-Cans Lift - The forearms on most of these men, due to years of carrying heavy bags of cans, would make Popeye look like a pussy.

3. Homeless Arts and Crafts Competition – Everyone knows that homeless people love to make signs detailing what they need for you. “Will work for food,” or “Homeless and Hungry,” are the staples, but a little homeless geniuses demand more from themselves and they deserve to be honored:

2. Synchronized Dumpster Diving – Two pairs of greasy hands scrounging for food are always better than one.

1. Miss Homeless 2008 – There can only be one winner, and I think I may have found her:

The Angry T

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