The NHL season began last night in Prague as the Senators beat the Penguins and the Rangers topped Tampa Bay. I could break down what to expect in this NHL season (poorly) and let you know that the Red Wings are destined to repeat, but you probably don’t care about my opinion. In fact, I’m not even sure that I care about my opinion. So, I’ll save you all the words and instead pick the NHL winners and losers this season by the attractiveness of their Ice Girls.
Love me some Ice Girls. Their tireless ice cleaning efforts make hockey safe for the player, arousing for the fans, and interesting for generally uninterested. They are to the NHL as dance teams are to the NBA, absolutely indispensable:
I like Tara:
Atlanta Thrashers – Blue Crew –
Alexa, Megan (top), Rebecca and Whitney (bottom)
Buffalo Sabres – No Ice Girls, no chance at success this season.
Chelsey and Kassy
Carolina Hurricanes – Storm Squad - Looking at their squad, they have to be an early favorite.
Maggie and Lauren (top) – Rosanna (bottom)
Chicago Blackhawks – Ice Crew - The Blackhawks have a city and metropolitan area of around 10 million people from which to draw, so I would expect this squad to impress.
(Top) – Jenna, Ashley L. (Bottom) -Ashley G., Jennie
Columbus Blue Jackets – Power Patrol – To begin with, they don’t have any pictures on their site of any of their beautiful ladies. I was forced to do more research and find some pics from last year.
Dallas Stars – Ice Girls – Wow. Wow. Wow. I think we may have found our Western Conference Champion.
Detroit and Edmonton have no shot because of their lack of ability to put together a crowd pleasing dancing/skating ice girl team. Couldn’t Detroit just trot out Henrik Zetterberg’s girlfriend?
Florida Panthers – Ice Dancers - They have a chance in the East. Consistency will have to be a staple of this squad.
Desiree and Maritza
LA Kings – Ice Crew – This is the Ice Girls inaugural season and they only recently held tryouts. Even though they are young, these ladies are making a run at the Laker GIrls. Plus their lack of clothing in a cold environment yield fantastic unintended, or maybe intended, consequences.
(Thanks for Larry Brown Sports for the photos)
Nashville Predators – Goal Girls – These lovely ladies may give the Stars a run for their money.
Annie, Maranda, and Molly
Sorry, New Jersey, you neutral zone trap will be useless this year because you refuse to field in Ice Crew.
NY Islanders – Ice Girls -Love me some Valerie.
Chanel
Valerie
The Rangers refuse to field an Ice Girl squad and in lieu of an Ice Girl team Ottawa trots out this horrifying monster, seemingly to frighten the fans into cheering.
Philadelphia Fylers – Delta Dental Ice Girls -
and my favorites:
Chrissy and Lisa
Phoenix Coyote- Pack Entertainment Team -
Pittsburgh Penguins – No chance with or without Sydney Crosby without an Ice Crew. Same goes for the San Jose Sharks.
Despite this page, there is no visual evidence that the St. Louis Blues Ice Girls actually exist.
Tampa Bay Lightning Girls – After looking at this page, I wasn’t impressed. But then I watched this video and I was very impressed. I love Lindsey at the 1:10 mark. I am confused.
The Maple Leafs have their tradition and scrupples for not trotting beautiful women out on the ice to get fans excited, but they also no chance of winning this year, or any year since 1967.
Vancouver Canucks – I think you missed the point Vancouver.
No dance team for the Washington Capitals. All they really need to do is show all the girls in Washington the picture below and I imagine all the hotties would flock to the stadium to get a piece.
Now its time to pick a winner. In this writers humble opinion, this comes down to two teams, and conveniently, they are in different conferences. The Dallas Stars will meet the Carolina Hurricanes in the Stanley Cups finals. On the strength of a boat tour / photo shoot, the Dallas Stars Ice Crew were able to show me more, and therefor they will walk away with the Stanley Cup. Congratulations to the Ice Crew and Mike Madano, who can finally win a Stanley Cup without 500,000 Buffalo residents claiming he cheated.
So there you have it, we have laid all the evidence in front you. Now its your turn to choose. Who has the hottest dance team, vote in the poll below.
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