We’d never joke about a man’s loss of livelihood in this trying economy, unless of course that man was married to an unbelievably hot chick, like Hank Baskett. He has more than enough reason to plaster a smile on his face even without gainful employment. Hank’s predicament got me thinking about other unemployed or generally average atheltes that still manage to hold down some very fine females.
Hank with Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson
(UPDATE: Hank is employed again!!! Kendra was only the family breadwinner for about 30 hours. Congrats to a newly employed Hank. It’s a tough job market out there, you should be proud of yourself)
In honor of Hank and many other useless athletes with hot arm candy, we present the Griffin Guess awards. For those of you who aren’t aware, Griffin Guess is uber-unattractive boyfriend of THE Marisa Miller. This guy must wrap that thing twice around his leg just to walk down the street, because there is no other explanation for him bagging that type of hotness:
Yeah, I don’t get it either.
Jason Campbell – Ms. District of Columbia – Merceded Lindsey – Campbell isn’t useless of course, he’s a starting NFL QB, for now…he might not be so un-useless in a few months.
The near Griffin Guess of the NBA Marko Jaric – Adriana Lima
Marko Holds the extra distinction of being weird looking, below average at his sport, and dating one of the hottest women in the world.
Adam Archuleta – Current Las Vegas Locomotives Safety – Jennifer Walcott Playboy Playmate - His career got off to a promising start with the Rams. Archuleta then left any skill for the game in St. Louis when he signed with the Redskins. I can only hope this precipitous drop in talent is due to long nights spent with Jennifer. I’d probably take her over the NFL too if I had the choice and I did one faithful night in the Reno airport bathroom. But that’s another fake story for another fake time…
Oh that’s not the right guy? Well, he plays safety at about the same level.
Scott Podsednik – Lisa Dergan – No one slugs .381, throws like a girl and picks up hot chicks like Scott. I also feel bad for theisguy that he was having his best season in 5 years and Kenny Williams still swung a deal to replace him with Alex Rios. Poor Scott, what will he do with his time if the Sox don’t resign him after this season…
and finally…
Aaron Fricking Boone and Laura Cover – Outside of that one magical swing in October 2003, the career .263 has been all sorts of average. That didn’t stop him from pulling Laura Cover. (Questionably safe for work)
This just goes to show that there is still hope for the Renaldo Balkman’s, the Robert Swift’s and the Nate Robertson’s of the world. If you’re an average or below average professional athlete, look to these men for inspiration if necessary. There’s no reason why you can’t snag a playmate if Hank Baskett can. WWHBD? A playboy playmate…every day of his life.
The Angry T
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