Now that H-O-R-S-E has been added to the NBA All-Star weekend, we decided to give the participants some ideas on shot to use in the competition.  I’m fairly sure that not even Kobe could beat some of these guys in H-O-R-S-E, even though he wouldn’t have to rebound at all, eerily similar to what he did en route to scoring 61 last week. (That’s correct, I am hating on a 61 point performance) Let’s take a look at what can happen if you dad has access to a gym and you have hundreds of hours of free time:

Making shot while guarded would add a different element to H-O-R-S-E

I’m not sure this could possibly be re-created:

He does all this with his pants pulled up and tucked in.  Can you imagine if this dude could find a regular pair of athletic shorts, he might be even better, or he might find group of friends so he wouldn’t spend 18 hours a day in the gym.

If these guys really want inspiration, they need to look no further than the NBA’s original H-O-R-S-E- competition that took place in 1977-1978.

Pistol Pete:

If this game is any indication of the All-Star H-O-R-S-E game,  I should be passed out by the time each player has H.

Pete Mavarich vs. Bubbles Hawkins – After this performance, I’m thinking his name must have been “Bubbler” Hawkins, and his name on the broadcast is a mis-print.

Finally gents, I suggest that you don’t use any of the shots that Bill Walton employs in this video.  Also, steer clear of the shorts:

The Angry T

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Marissa Miller got us really fired up about commercials and once we saw this one, we had to post it.

The first question that pops into your mind after watching this video is obviously, “Why didn’t Kobe have to strip down to his underwear?” The second question that comes to mind is, “How much did these guys get paid for this?” I would think that Kobe got paid the most because he was probably the central figure in the commercial.  My guess is that he got paid $500k.  Violent J believes it was more like 100k. Personally, I don’t think that Kobe gets out of bed for less that 500k these days.

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Hopefully this turns into an East Coast vs. West Coast Rap Battle. There are far too few rap battles that end in bloodshed these days. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

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The NBA MVP race is coming down to the wire. Four NBA superstars, including Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and Chris Paul, have an opportunity to take home the crown. I have some bad news for anyone who was mentioned above whose name is not Kobe Bryant: you aren’t going to win. This is Kobe’s award. Call it a lifetime achievement award, call it an belated congratulations for beating those rape allegations, call it what you will, but make sure you know this is Kobe’s award. Did Chris Paul and Kevin Garnett orchestrate a bigger turnaround for their teams that Kobe did this season? Yes. Did Lebron James have better numbers and arguably establish himself as the most dominate offensive player in the league? Yes. All that logic is useless in the face of the Lakers securing the #1 seed and Kobe learning to play nice with his teammates.

But enough about who will probably win, I want to talk about who is most deserving. The MVP, or Most Valuable Player, for all you laymen out there, should have an impact on their team in a number of ways, not just on the court. Who has the hottest wife or girlfriend? Who has the best house? Who allegedly sexual assaulted a hotel worker on a road trip? These are the things that voters should look at. The basketball prowess of these for athletes is well known and pretty comparable across the board. It is the intangibles, which will be describe below, that will determine the winner:

Wives and Girlfriend:

Garnett – Wife Brandi

Chris Paul – Girlfriend Jada

Kobe – Wife Vanessa

LeBron – Girlfriend Savannah

Winner:

In my humble opinion, Garnett’s wife narrowly edges Kobe.

Digs:

Garnett: Former Home in Minnesota (We will count this one since he hasn’t had adequate time to find a house that suits his tax bracket (186 million dollar earned thus far in his career)

Chris Paul – Here is a slideshow with photos of Chris’ house.

Kobe – Here is Kobe’s Home in 2001. It has been 7 years, but I wouldn’t ever move out of this place if I were him: (You can scroll through that gallery as well)

LeBron – LeBron’s 35,000-square-foot house is on the order of 25 times larger than the outdoor cave that I live in. I can’t imagine, even with an aquarium, that his place has the wildlife that my place does.

Winner:

Kobe narrowly edges out LeBron on the strength of his locale. (Newport Beach vs. Akron)

Style:

Garnett –

Chris Paul –

Kobe –

LeBron –

Winner:

Nothing beats the zubaz pants, even Kobe’s suit above. Kobe wishes he could be half as stylish as the LeBron on the diving board.

Their Shoe:

Garnett:

Chris Paul:

Kobe Bryant – Zoom Kobe III

LeBron James –

Winner:

Paul wins this one because I need a shoe that I cannot only wear to play basketball, but also throw on with a suit to go to a wedding or a funeral.

Tattoos:

Garnett - Has “Blood Sweat Tears” and “Sky’s The Limit” tattooed on his right upper arm, along with a picture of two hands cradling a globe. Has “Malik Sealy RIP” (teammate and friend who died in car accident) tattooed on his right forearm.

Chris Paul – No tattoos

Kobe – That crown is for his wife, his “queen.” But what about the…oh never mind,

LeBron James – That Lions is pretty legit, although I have to say that “Chosen 1” across his back is probably the best he has. I was considering a similar tattoo across my back, which would have said “Anthony,” in Greek letters, with a beer can and a naked chick under it. Instead I got “Thug Life,” across my stomach. To this point I have intimidated .5 people.

Winner

Garnett takes this one because I love the “two arms cradling a globe” tat, and because Malik Sealy is a former Piston.

And your MVP is….

Kevin Garnett took the Wife/Girlfriend and tattoo category and secured his place as the 2008 MVP. It didn’t hurt that he took his team from 24 wins all the way to 65 (with one game to play).

The Angry T

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