May
10
2009
3

The Most Racist Video Game of All-Time

Written by aeneas07 | Visited 194 times, 1 so far today |

Every artist needs a muse to create beautiful works of art.  My friend and confidant Nick Shaheen brought my attention to a video game whose intro, characters and overall energy can only be attributed to a certain sect out of Martinsville, Indiana that absolutely slaps in the face any civil progress that has been made in the last 150 years…and he’s not happy about it – neither is any other human that has been born since the Gettysburg address, with the exception of Jim Crow & company.  Apparently, these in-bred A-holes have some very impressive video programmers because the following game not only wowed millions and developed a loyal and devoted long term fanbase, but also managed to subconsciously infiltrate the open minds of every human that has come out of a vagina post 1860. And not one of the fans of this game have realized this bigotry until now.

Let me be the first to introduce to you the most undeniably racist, hateful and subjective introduction to any media form ever. I need to point out only 3 details to illustrate the hate that seeps out the pores of this super nintendo creation. 1) the two fighters. 2) the winner of the fight. and 3)…the one detail that every video gamer since 1991 has “overlooked”…the crowd, namely the Premium saltine cracker quality of their skin. Tony Hawk’s got nothing on Abraham Lincoln – Honest Abe got the sneak peek to this article and did a 1080 in his grave. I am unproud to present to you the intro to the most hateful, racist video game of all-time…Street Fighter 2.

p.s. World Warrior my ass.

Nasty Nick

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Feb
02
2009
7

Of Tranformers 2, Street Fighter or G.I. Joe, Which Will Be the Best Action Movie of 2009?

Written by aeneas07 | Visited 489 times, 4 so far today |

We are standing on the precipice of a great time in our movie watching lives. This year, no fewer than three movies that should peak the interest of every twenty something in the world.  Let’s take a look at the trailers:

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li - Release Date: February 29, 2009

Notice that Kriten Kruek plays the role of Chun Li, which makes my happy in a certain area of my body:

Kristin Kreuk Pictures

http://www.icompact.com/gallery/data/507/KristenKreuk.jpg

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Release Date: August 2009

I am so goddamn excited about this movie that I plan to try to dive through the windows of a train, just like in the video above, at my next oppurtunity.

Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen – June 26, 2009

I have my money on G.I Joe being the best movie of the bunch.  The whole “sequel is never as good as the original” will probably hurt Transformers. Although, the Dark Knight didn’t seem to struggle with that stigma.  Actually, I just want G.I. Joe to be the best of the three because I’ve watched the hell out of that show and I really want to see what advice Ship Wreck has to give me on the big screen.

I can’t tell you how many times I would have died had I not received this advice:


The Angry T

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