Halloween is approaching and that means that I try to squeeze into a costume that mimics the aerobics teacher in this video. It also means that the WWE holds their annual “Diva Halloween Costume Contest.” I refuse not to post pictures of such an event. Here are the pics from the contest that took place at last Sunday’s Pay-Per-View:

(For those who missed the show, I’ll hold off on telling you the winner until the bottom of the page so you can make your own decision)

Beth Phoenix – Medieval Knight

Brie Bella – Cleopatra

(more…)

Popularity: 4% [?]

Any red blooded American wrestling fan who watched the debate last night was thinking one thing and one thing only, “My god Barack Obama sounds like ‘The Rock.’” After McCain made a quip about Barack not voting on a spending bill, I have expected Barack to respond with, “You know what you do with that spending bill John? You can take the bill, roll it up real tight.  Put a little hot wax stamp on it, turn that sum’ bitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass.”

I know this isn’t a groundbreaking new idea, many people have suggested that Barack sounds like the people’s champ.  However, I don’t think that people have considered what might happen if Barack takes his “Rock-ness,” to the White House.  I have to imagine that we would scoff at appointing career politicians to his cabinet.  Instead, he would bring his squared circle cronies to the White House with him.  Let’s take a look at who he might appoint.

(Sorry Mick, you missed the list, no one trusts you in Washington)

(Also, William Regal missed the list despite his experience as a Lord.  I can’t, in good conscience, help to put a steroid user in the White House)

Secretary of Defense – Sergeant Slaughter - Who better to defend our shores than a man with experience in the military?  If I remember correctly, he also has a significant amount of experience dealing with Iranian leaders, which is a vital skill as we mitigate our issues in the Middle East.

Secretary of the Treasury – Ted “The Million Dollar Man” Dibiase – He is uber rich, he knows how to deal with money and  he isn’t afraid to shove a few hundred dollars down someone’s throat if necessary.

Secretary of State – Hacksaw Jim Duggan – This man loves America and he would be the perfect ambassador to our foreign neighbors.

Secretary of the Interior – Val Venis – No one knows the “interior” quite like Val Venis.  He has shown a knack of getting in and out of the interior in a variety of situations.

Secretaries of Agriculture – The Bushwhackers - They come from the outback, which is assume is the “bread basket” of Australia.  They also lick each others foreheads, which I believe is one of the requisites of this job.

Secretary of Health and Human Services – Dr. Isaac Yankem – This is the man to turn around Medicare and Medicaid.

Secretary of Transportation – The Godfather – His many years of work with the “Hooooooooooooeeeeee Train,” earns him this cabinet appointment.

Secretary of Commerce – Cryme Tyme - These men, more than anyone else, know the value of a dollar.  Or at least it would see that way, because they only time you ever saw them on TV was when they were stealing people’s car or laptops or television.

Secretary of Labor – Vincent Kennedy McMahon – He has hired and fired hundreds of superstars over the years, he could get this country’s labor market back on track.

Secretaries of Energy – The Spirit Squad – There have been few WWE Superstars that were more energetic than the Spirit Squad.

Secretaries of Veteran Affairs – Pat Patterson and Gerald Briscoe – McMahon’s henchman were probably veterans themselves, so let them manage veteran affairs.

(This is first class ass-whooping courtesy of Briscoe and Patterson at the expense of the Mean Street Posse)

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development -Demolition – If they can destroy a house, I have to believe they can build one.

(how awesome was this game?)

Secretary of Education – Bobby “The Brain” Heenan - “The Brain” has a lot to teach the youth of America.

Secretary of Homeland Secuity – Stone Cold Steve Austion – He doesn’t have any specific skill set that would qualify him for this position, but he needs to be in the cabinet, if for nothing else than to pull off the two stunts below on Capitol Hill.

If you think that Barack Obama throwing Stone Cold into the Potomac river wouldn’t get people interested in politics again, you are crazy?

Did I miss any other people that deserve a congressional appointment?

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

I know all of you were on the edge of your seats for William Regal’s Loser gets Fired Match vs. Mr. Kennedy.  I am sure that you, like me, were disappointed that everybody’s favorite Brit lost the match and was forced to leave to company.  Actually, even though I am a huge loser, I did not happen to watch RAW last night.  However, I did run across this story, which led me to the Loser gets Fired Match.

Just to be clear, this lumpy, quasi in shape man, got suspended for performance enhancing drugs:

But this guy:

Or this guy:

Or this guy…

And especially this guy:

Were never suspended for using anything. Right…

I would never question the genius of Vincent Kennedy McMahon, but I think a couple of these guys may have fallen through the cracks of his steroid policy.
Oh wait, I think I get it now. You suspend your third tier stars rather than your superstars, and that makes it look like you really care about steroids.  In that case, here a couple more guys’ pee you might want to take a look at:

(in the green)

And this guy:

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Just when you think you have outgrown professional wrestling, Vince McMahon ropes you right back by tugging at your inner-trashiness.  Many of us have heard that Floyd Mayweather made an appearance at the WWE pay-per-view No Way Out last night, where he promptly broke the nose of WWE superstar The Big Show.  The Big Show is listed at 7’1 and nearly 500 pounds, while Floyd checks in at 5’8” and 145 pounds, so the size disparity is pretty comical.  That has not stopped the WWE from putting together a storyline between the two men.  Mayweather showed up in Anaheim for WWE’s Monday Night Raw and had another confrontation with The Big Show where Floyd accepted a challenge to meet The Big Show in the squared circle, conceivably at WrestleMania, the “sports’” biggest event.

I will have no problem shelling out $45 for WrestleMania if I am sure that Mayweather will “fight” the 7’ 500 pound man, just as I had no problem shelling out $45 last year (120 percent of my monthly pay as a fluffer) on the off chance that Donald Trump would get his head shaved.  In fact, if there is even a quasi-celebrity involved in WrestleMania, I will throw bags of money at my TV until it comes on.

Floyd and Donald weren’t the first celebrities to get involved with professional wrestling.  In fact, professional wrestling has a long history of getting celebrities involved in wrestling’s hijinx and hilarity.  We take a look at some of the most memorably appearances below:

Donald Trump – 2007 – Wrestlemania XXIII – Donald put this famous hair on the line as he backed Bobby Lashley in his bout against the Vince-McMahon-backed Umaga. Thanks to a Donald Trump spear, Vince’s wrestler lost, and his head was shaved, rather than Donald’s.

Jay Leno – 1998 –  WCW Bash at the Beach – Jay Leno, with the help of Diamond Dallas Page and Kevin Eubanks, beat WCW commissioner Eric Bischoff.  Personally I would rather see Craig Ferguson get mercilessly pummeled by professional wrestlers to the point where he can never appear on my television again and consistently not entertain me.

Karl Malone / Dennis Rodman – 1998 – WCW Bash at the Beach – This was about as star studded as a wrestling event could possibly get. Former Steelers linebacker Kevin Greene lost to the aforementioned Big Show (back when he was called the Giant, in the same event) Rodman teamed up with Hulk Hogan to beat Karl Malone and Diamond Dallas Page. Here is some great video of “The Mailman” and “The Worm” getting to it.

RoboCop – WCW – RoboCop  appeared at a WCW event and helped his apparent friend Sting, get out of a “steel cage.” If there has ever been a worse wrestling storyline, I haven’t seen it.  Thankfully, we found the video, so you can relive the outright awfulness of this event.

Alice Cooper – WWF – Alice was a recurring character for a short time in the WWF when he teamed up with Jake the Snake Roberts.  Their mutual love of snakes made them fast friends. Cooper even earned a victory in WrestleMania III over “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart.

Mike Tyson – 1998 – Wrestlemania XIV – Fresh off devouring Evander Holyfield’s ear, Iron Mike entered the WWE fray by siding with Shawn Michaels in his feud against Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Mike showed his true colors in the end by turning on Michaels and knocking Shawn out with a right to the jaw following the main event at WrestleMania.

Kevin Federline – WWE – 2007 – Kevin Federline actually won a match against WWE Champ John Cena on Monday Night Raw with outside help from Umaga. Thankfully, Kevin was beaten into oblivion the next time he stepped he stepped in the ring with Cena.

The Insane Clown Posse – WWF – In addition to being god awful musicians, the ICP has moonlighted as a god awful wrestling tag team.  

Mary Hart – 1987- Wrestlemania III – Yes, that Mary Hart was a guest announcer for Wrestlemania III. Anyone who remembers this event will recall that Mary’s co-host was a pre-Major League Bob Uecker, who at this point was famous for…his 1986 appearance on How’s the Boss?

(Tag Team perhaps?)

Pac-Man Jones – 2007 – TNA – Despite his reputation as a stand-up individual, Pac-Man Jones has been going around spraying his opponents in the eyes with spray paint.  For shame Adam, for shame.

Pete Rose – Wrestlemania XIV, XV, Wreslemania 2000 – Pete Rose is a staple in professional wrestling after his appearances in three WrestleManias.  In fact, he was inducted into the WWF Hall-of-Fame in 2004.

Lawrence Taylor – WrestleMania XI – LT had probably the most success of any celebrity in the ring.  He defeated “The Beast from the East” Bam Bam Bigelow in the main event at WrestleMania. In my opinion, Bam Bam was railroaded in that match because LT was accompanied to the ring by Ken Norton Jr., Carl Banks, Steve McMichael, Reggie White and Chris Speilman. Take a quick look at LT in the ring below:

Vanna White – Vanna took the prestigious position of timekeeper in the Wrestlemania IV main event featuring “The Macho Man” Randy Savage and Ted “The Million Dollar Man” Dibiase. He was hounded mercilessly by a surprisingly horny Bob Uecker, who once again was a guest announcer on the broadcast.
I believe I may have missed a few, please let me know any notable that I left out.  Children on Christmas eve have nothing on my current giddiness level for Wrestlemania.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]